GOOD INTENTIONS

I recommit myself to this blog, this time with 20% more discipline!

REVERSE BUCKET LIST

things I mustn’t do before I die:

• declare bankruptcy
• have a serious regret
• hold onto the last of my grudges
• resort to eating any human bits
• stay sad about something stupid
• become so weak I am unable to poop alone
• refuse laughter of any kind
• overthink things
• cause any harm
• lose any body parts that I need (appendix: go head, take it)
• appear on reality TV for any reason
• forget to write love letters to all my great loves, platonic and romantic
• buy a Chrysler 300 or a PT Cruiser
• worry up till the end

WEEK 1

I haven’t cried in a really really long time.

precisely how strange is that, I wonder.

NOT IN MY HOUSE

Things I bought at Whole Foods today:

• coconut water
• one meatball
• bok choy
• tomatoes
• taleggio
• white bread
• salmon teriyaki

Things I meant to buy at Whole Foods:

• coconut water

VIP STATUS

meats ingested recently:

• bbq ribs
• bbq brisket
• more bbq ribs
• umami burger
• mongolian beef
• flank steak  salad
• sopes carnitas

oof.

excuses:

• brother loves bbq
• BBQ FEST 2009
• brother visiting
• in the neighborhood of Umami Burger
• cousin wants Chinese food
• Loteria is near the Fonda; running late to the show

But truly, it was just laziness + LA.

COMPOST IS THE NEW BLACK

I’m terrible at consistency, which is strange, because I sort of enjoy routine.

I thought about consistently logging my daily plastic use, in order to keep myself honest. After reading about garbage bloggers in Mother Jones, I decided to reduce my plastic consumption as much as possible and recycle all the plastic I do use (which I did before anyway, but now with a new sense of self-righteous urgency). I cannot explain why environmental stuff gets me feeling so guilty. It just does.

If I were Bridget Jones, I’d tell you how many cigarettes I smoked today and how much weight I had (not) lost. But I am not a silly fictional twat so I will list the plastic I used.

yesterday:

• three drinks straws
• safety seal on contact lens solution
• contact lens solution
• bag containing fruit snacks

today:

• two bags, takeaway food
• plastic cup
• plastic windows in two envelopes
• coffee creamer screw-on top

I would log how much money I spend every day, but then I would have to 1) track it, and 2) feel bad after seeing it in writing. Some days I spend nothing. Today I spent money on

• two meals
• a haircut
• a Mother’s Day card
• soy coffee creamer.

Let me just say this: Chris Leavins has the right idea. You make it, and you make it make $$. And do it in cyberspace so there’s no plastic involved.

Now I am going to spend another $12 watching a movie.

RUN, RAT, RUN

time is short.

trying to keep up with all manner of shit is trying.

and yet we beat on, oars against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

projects:

• songza
• delicious
• google reader
• manage netvibes page
• friendfeed
• shed some tumblr accounts
• put my work online
• create some work to put online
• turning this blog into something useful (or just be happy with what it is)

and then the perennial:

• reduce carbon footprint
• reduce 5K time
• reduce wrinkles
• use sunscreen (related to above)
• record all birthdays of friends and family somewhere safe
• manage multiple email accounts effectively
• learn to juggle

adios, guapos. it’s friday.

MEATSCAPES

recent beefs (beeves, for the classicists out there):

• that I still need stamps from time to time. what would happen if we got rid of stamps and pennies? will this tiny shift trigger a catastrophic chain of events, the likes of which my mortal coil-bound brain cannot imagine?
• recycling. there I said it. I’m all for it, but let’s be straight: it is a colossal pain in the aye-ass.
• doin taxes
• “please login or start an account”
• people who decide that they will say something venomous because they are bored
• LAX terminal 1
• the heavy rotation of 10,000 BC on HBO
• the constant proliferation of white icords in my house
• junk mail
• going to Target. shit. rather clean the toilet.

WORLDWIDE PANTS

what not being able to pick a car says about me:

• I have conflicting priorities, big surprise
• I care enough to get in my own way, not enough to hurry up and decide
• I am concerned about the environment, emission levels, the feelings of cows, saving money at the pump, not being too suburban, not being too predictable, not being too precious
• I can spend an obscene amount of time on the internet services
• I would rather vacuum my house
• I am impressionable
• eh I could have bigger problems
• I may have lost a degree or two of decisiveness since I bought my last car
• Maybe I could drive a white car
• Never mind, I can’t
• My car now has variable lumbar support?
• I wonder what Demetri Martin drives…
• I don’t want the Royal Tennenbaum of cars
• I harbor a grudge against the Germans
• I am brand loyal in spirit, even if I don’t commit money to my loyalty
• I am terrible at test drives

update: 03.21.09

I picked a car. and here she is:  http://snipurl.com/ebbfa

RED TAG CRAZY

assorted gripes:

• the real housewives of orange county
• sunday afternoon at trader joe’s, and its pre-glasnost empty shelves
• having to get my jeans altered EVERY TIME
• airfares
• bed bath and beyond – why, and really?
• blank checks sent by credit card company, through the reggalar fucking mail
• socmed
• my inability to extract myself from soc med
• that week before a haircut
• watching movies from anything but the last five rows
• the asphalt on LaBrea
• people who can’t be bothered to bring a bag for their clubs because it’s a par three course
• ironing
• incompetence
• iron deficiency
• crowded yoga

I’m sure I’ll think of more when my phone’s charged up.