• declare bankruptcy
• have a serious regret
• hold onto the last of my grudges
• resort to eating any human bits
• stay sad about something stupid
• become so weak I am unable to poop alone
• refuse laughter of any kind
• overthink things
• cause any harm
• lose any body parts that I need (appendix: go head, take it)
• appear on reality TV for any reason
• forget to write love letters to all my great loves, platonic and romantic
• buy a Chrysler 300 or a PT Cruiser
• worry up till the end

precisely how strange is that, I wonder.

• coconut water
• one meatball
• bok choy
• tomatoes
• taleggio
• white bread
• salmon teriyaki

Things I meant to buy at Whole Foods:

• coconut water

• bbq ribs
• bbq brisket
• more bbq ribs
• umami burger
• mongolian beef
• flank steak  salad
• sopes carnitas

oof.

excuses:

• brother loves bbq
• BBQ FEST 2009
• brother visiting
• in the neighborhood of Umami Burger
• cousin wants Chinese food
• Loteria is near the Fonda; running late to the show

But truly, it was just laziness + LA.

I thought about consistently logging my daily plastic use, in order to keep myself honest. After reading about garbage bloggers in Mother Jones, I decided to reduce my plastic consumption as much as possible and recycle all the plastic I do use (which I did before anyway, but now with a new sense of self-righteous urgency). I cannot explain why environmental stuff gets me feeling so guilty. It just does.

If I were Bridget Jones, I’d tell you how many cigarettes I smoked today and how much weight I had (not) lost. But I am not a silly fictional twat so I will list the plastic I used.

yesterday:

• three drinks straws
• safety seal on contact lens solution
• contact lens solution
• bag containing fruit snacks

today:

• two bags, takeaway food
• plastic cup
• plastic windows in two envelopes
• coffee creamer screw-on top

I would log how much money I spend every day, but then I would have to 1) track it, and 2) feel bad after seeing it in writing. Some days I spend nothing. Today I spent money on

• two meals
• a haircut
• a Mother’s Day card
• soy coffee creamer.

Let me just say this: Chris Leavins has the right idea. You make it, and you make it make $$. And do it in cyberspace so there’s no plastic involved.

Now I am going to spend another $12 watching a movie.

trying to keep up with all manner of shit is trying.

and yet we beat on, oars against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

projects:

• songza
• delicious
• google reader
• manage netvibes page
• friendfeed
• shed some tumblr accounts
• put my work online
• create some work to put online
• turning this blog into something useful (or just be happy with what it is)

and then the perennial:

• reduce carbon footprint
• reduce 5K time
• reduce wrinkles
• use sunscreen (related to above)
• record all birthdays of friends and family somewhere safe
• manage multiple email accounts effectively
• learn to juggle

adios, guapos. it’s friday.

• that I still need stamps from time to time. what would happen if we got rid of stamps and pennies? will this tiny shift trigger a catastrophic chain of events, the likes of which my mortal coil-bound brain cannot imagine?
• recycling. there I said it. I’m all for it, but let’s be straight: it is a colossal pain in the aye-ass.
• doin taxes
• “please login or start an account”
• people who decide that they will say something venomous because they are bored
• LAX terminal 1
• the heavy rotation of 10,000 BC on HBO
• the constant proliferation of white icords in my house
• junk mail
• going to Target. shit. rather clean the toilet.

• I have conflicting priorities, big surprise
• I care enough to get in my own way, not enough to hurry up and decide
• I am concerned about the environment, emission levels, the feelings of cows, saving money at the pump, not being too suburban, not being too predictable, not being too precious
• I can spend an obscene amount of time on the internet services
• I would rather vacuum my house
• I am impressionable
• eh I could have bigger problems
• I may have lost a degree or two of decisiveness since I bought my last car
• Maybe I could drive a white car
• Never mind, I can’t
• My car now has variable lumbar support?
• I wonder what Demetri Martin drives…
• I don’t want the Royal Tennenbaum of cars
• I harbor a grudge against the Germans
• I am brand loyal in spirit, even if I don’t commit money to my loyalty
• I am terrible at test drives

update: 03.21.09

I picked a car. and here she is:  http://snipurl.com/ebbfa

• the real housewives of orange county
• sunday afternoon at trader joe’s, and its pre-glasnost empty shelves
• having to get my jeans altered EVERY TIME
• airfares
• bed bath and beyond – why, and really?
• blank checks sent by credit card company, through the reggalar fucking mail
• socmed
• my inability to extract myself from soc med
• that week before a haircut
• watching movies from anything but the last five rows
• the asphalt on LaBrea
• people who can’t be bothered to bring a bag for their clubs because it’s a par three course
• ironing
• incompetence
• iron deficiency
• crowded yoga

I’m sure I’ll think of more when my phone’s charged up.